When I first started to study this topic I called it “Fatherhood” because it is a message designed to bring God’s direction for Fathers as found in the Bible. But I researched and found out that 24.6 million children 18 years or younger are living without a father in the household. This is 35% of all children in the US, as of 2013. So, out of necessity, this is not only written to Dads but also any family members or even friends who are helping to raise the next generation.

Just so there is no misunderstanding, these thoughts are not all mine but what I find in my Bible dealing with the way God would have us raise our children. God wants us to be successful in this endeavor. By success I mean that our children will continue to be the apple of our eye, a blessing to all they meet and we will be forever proud of the life they lead for the Lord after they have “left the nest”.

Young men, fathers, mothers, grandparents, aunts & uncles, this is for you! Remember, we are all human and perfection is not attainable this side of heaven, so do not be discouraged when you make a mistake, apologize and move on.

Here are some additional stats of the state of fatherhood in this country.
In fatherless homes,Teen suicides account for 63% of the total, 5X the average.
In fatherless homes, Runaway and homeless teens account for 90% of the total, 32X the average.
In fatherless homes, Behavior disorders account for 85% of the total, 20X the average.
In fatherless homes, 85% on all young people wind up in prison, 10X the average.

This does not have to be! There is a young man in our Bible who has overcome the odds. His name is Timothy and was a leader in the earlier Christian gatherings of Believers, but, he was raised fatherless.

2 Timothy 1:5, When I call to remembrance the unfeigned (real or consistent) faith that is in thee,
which dwelt first in thy grandmother, Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am
persuaded that in thee also.

2 Timothy 3:15, And that from a child thou has known the holy scriptures, which are able to make
thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Jesus Christ.

The difference is that Timothy’s mother and grandmother taught this young lad the Scriptures, from when he was a child! This is the way God wants us to raise up a child, using the Bible as our handbook. Simply because there is no father in the family picture is no excuse for not bringing up the children respecting and fearing God. The job is harder but not impossible.

Now I can see 4 traits of the Godly parent in our Bible. These traits or practices are:
1. Practicing Leadership
2. Giving proper Instruction & Training
3. Applying Correction when required
4. All administered with Love & Compassion

• Leadership: Joshua 24:14 & 15. Now therefore fear the Lord, and serve him in sincerity and in truth: and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the flood and in Egypt; and serve you the Lord. And if it seems evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom you will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell: but for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.
  Leaders are not made by barking out orders and demanding absolute obedience; leaders are certified by their example, the way they lead their life & the choices they make for their family as they travel the road of life toward eternity.

How does a parent show leadership in the home? Here are some thoughts:
Praying as a family before meals, never be ashamed to thank your God for the food, wherever you are.
A Bible reading after your Sunday meal, this tells the children how important the Bible is to you.
Going to Church as a family, please pick a church that uses the Bible as their text book.
Saying prayers with each child when going to bed. This is the best way to give each child special attention

Instruction: Proverbs 1:8 & 9. My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother: For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head and chains about thy neck. The Bible tells the children to listen to their mother’s & father’s instruction. But what are we to teach our children and how are we to teach them?
Look at Psalms, 119: 104. Through thy precepts I get understanding: therefore I hate every false way. The answer to all of life’s problems, issues , blessings, the answer to every conceivable question about how to live our lives for God is in the Bible.

Let’s name some things parents should teach their children from early age:
the way of salvation
pray, encourage them to sat the prayer before meals.
respect for others. Respect them and show them the value of respecting all others.
love for everyone we meet, even our enemies. Do this by example
how to behave at dinner, church, school, with friends, etc. Children need to be instructed on how to behave.

Correction, Proverbs 3:11 & 12, My son despise not the chastening of the Lord; neither be weary of His correction: For whom the Lord loves he corrects, even as a father the son in whom he delights.
Spanking, in today’s “enlightened” environment, Satan has placed in the minds of people that spanking is bad & evil. The alternate is to reason with the child and eventually the child will logically figure the right path for themselves, they are told. Satan is telling the world that the Bible is wrong, and if the Bible is wrong here then it could be wrong in other places. If you love your children you will not withhold correction.
The bible tells in Proverbs 3: 11 & 12 that God corrects us out of love and we should correct our children also out of love.
However in, Proverbs 13:24 He that spares his rod hates his son; but he that loves him chastens him sometimes. This Proverb takes it a step further—if you fail to correct your child then you do not love them! In fact your indifference toward them tells them that you hate them. You simply do not care how they grow. So, remember this, when you are correcting or being corrected it is because you are loved.
Bosses correct employees. If the employee refuses to learn then they are fired from their position in the company. If a child refuses to learn then it is time for that loving spanking.
Proverbs 19:18 Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying. This tells us how important correction is—without correction there is spiritual death!

Teaching / Training, Proverbs 22:6. Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
How does a parent learn what to teach their children? What text book have we been using so far to learn how to raise children? Psychology Today? Dr. Spock’s book on raising children? Gerber’s Parenting Guide? Of course not, we have used only the Bible.
Let’s take a look at Psalm 119. First an overview:
There are 22 sub chapters in this Psalm. They correspond to the 22 letters of the Hebrew alphabet, starting at Aleph and ending with Tau.
The entire Psalm speaks to the importance of the Bible in our lives.
There are 8 verses in each sub chapter., therefore 176 verses.
Now let’s looks at verses 65 through 72, under the letter Teth.
Thou has dealt well with thy servant, O Lord, according to thy word. Teach me good judgment and knowledge; for I have believed thy commandments. Before I was afflicted I went astray; but now I have kept thy word. Thou are good and you do good; teach me your statutes. The proud have forged a lie against me: but I will keep thy precepts with my whole heart. Their heart is as fat as grease but I delight in your law. It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes. The law of thy mouth is better unto me than thousands of gold and silver.
God will teach us, therefore, God will supply the teachers. The source of our learning is very important. Are we going to learn about life from our friends or from the world communication centers like TV, videos, movies? Or are we going to learn what God wants us to learn from the guidance of the Bible He gives to us.

Compassion / Love. Read Luke 15:11 to 31 when you have a chance.
The story of the Prodigal Son. Allow me to summarize the events. A father had two sons and the younger one wanted his inheritance. The father gave it to him and the son left home and spent his inheritance on riotous living. I will let you imagine what riotous living means. There is a famine and he loses all of the money and therefore, all of his so called “friends”. He finds himself eating what he is feeding the pigs. He decides to go back home to apologize to his Father. I want to look at the Father of this wayward boy and look at his reaction to his son’s folly. First the son confesses his sin against his father, verse 20, but the fathers reaction is to accept his son and instructs his servants to kill the fatted lamb, he put new clothes on him and a ring on his hand and new shoes. In verse 24 he says, For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost , and he is found. And they began to be merry.
Think about this for a minute, what do you think would be the future of the son if the father said “Go back to where you came from, I do not know you”! You wasted all of your money and you are no son of mine”. Instead of forgiveness and love the father gave his son hate and shame. The son would have lost the meaning of forgiveness and no doubt be bitter the rest of his life. The Father would not be happy because he lost his youngest son. No winners. Notice how the fathers forgiveness was a win for both of them.

God our Father is just like the Prodigals father, compassion and love. He will accept you back . The prerequisite? The son confesses his sin: look at 1John 1:9, If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. God gives us a promise. Confession is required to receive God’s forgiveness. Remember from the story of the prodigal son, the father was waiting for his son to return. Our Lord is waiting for us to return to him also when you fall away from him. All we need do is confess that which is separating us for God. What better way to teach compassion and love than to forgive our children for their foolish actions.

Another thing to remember—the father threw away his pride when he accepted his son back home. We also have to stamp down our pride so we can forgive and forget. This is probably our greatest challenge—looking back, I know it was mine.

Finally, remember, that the answers to all of our relationship issues are found in the Bible. Become a student, encourage your children to also become students and you and they will know what direction God wants us to follow.