Breathing.  The simple act of sucking air into my lungs has got to be one of my favorite things to do.  There are some who see that as a problem but thankfully they are few in number.  It is such an automatic action we tend to forget about it until it is impeded in some way but if we just take a moment or two to just take a breath and relax as the air rushes into our lungs our whole outlook on things just might be a bit brighter.   A close second is between a cold sweet watermelon on a sultry day or an air conditioned room on a hot and humid day or evening.  The air conditioner is the second greatest invention by man the first being the printing press.  Whenever I dream about living in a past era I am brought back to reality with the horrid thought of the lack of cool dry air.  I am not sure how old I was when our family first had the benefits of an air conditioned environment it might have been the late fifties to the early or mid sixties.  I remember sleeping on the floor of my parents bedroom floor with my younger brother during the more uncomfortable nights.  And then we had a room air conditioner placed in our bedroom and it was like heaven.  There were four of us in that bedroom sleeping on two bunk beds and I was fortunate to get the top bunk next to the a/c.  What was my fortune once turned into my older brothers misfortune as the cold air and probably eating too much watermelon before I went to bed caused a massive emptying of my bladder during the night.   Sleeping comfortably on the bed under me an unwitting brother was suddenly awakened by a steady flow of fluid that soaked through my mattress onto him.  We both ended up sleeping on the floor that night.  I do not remember any retribution so all was good I guess.

Through the eyes of an adult with more time behind him than in front of him, living in a row house in the Tacony section of Philadelphia was great especially during that time period of the late fifties to mid sixties.  I am sure it was my age at the time but living was fun.  The only worries were getting caught doing something I should not be doing.  Even family concerns did not put a damper on the fun and misadventures my friends and younger brother were involved with; and I shudder to think the dangers that my children and now grandchildren would place themselves in doing what I and my friends would do daily.  I would kick their ass if I found out.  OK – not my grandchildren’s butt – I am like a DQ ice cream cone when it comes to them.  But the world is so different now and not for the better.  Back then we could safely walk off our property and go anywhere our legs would take us.  Neighbors would watch out for us to be neighborly and to make sure you do not get into too much trouble and they would call our parents t let them know.  Nowadays neighbors watch and if you are outside a prolonged amount of time they don’t call your parents they call the Police and Child Services and the next thing you know your parents have real legal problems.  We also have changed.  Even now I worry about the two boys who are still at home whenever they go out at night.  They are 27 and 20 years old!  I shouldn’t worry but I know how this world is and the general lack of respect for anybody or anything and then throw in the crazies who are out roaming the streets because there are no more nut houses.

My younger brother Mike and I after Christmas circa 1960

My thoughts of being a kid in Tacony were stirred by having breakfast with my older siblings.  My oldest brother was making a short stop in our area a couple of weeks ago and I was asked if I wanted to join him and my other brother and sister for a bite.  Our family was like two different families.  My two older brothers and sister constituted the first half and then I started the second half with a brother following and a sister at the end.   Take away the personalities it was a mirror image.  The second half kids benefitted from lessons my parents learned from raising the first half kids.  The first half kids call it being spoiled and without a doubt they had it much harder as far as discipline and expectations go and they never fail to remind me of that at times.  But they also benefitted from that difference.  They have a greater bond between them than I do with my younger siblings.  It was fun watching them during that breakfast, especially my older brothers resorting to the actions they had while growing up.  The oldest being serious while explaining something all the while the other interrupting with funny comments trying to get under his brothers skin.  My mom use to tell a story how they would be sitting at the dining room table doing homework and my one brother would intentionally shake the table while the other was attempting to write or study to torment him.  I defintely could see the pattern at breakfast that morning.

When my boys came along one of my desires was that they remain close as they grew and while they may have differences of opinion that they never allow those differences to interfere with being brothers.  My fathers side of the family were as contentious as a family could be and I remember being young and thinking that something was wrong with them.  As I grew older I figured out that it was my grandfather that was the catalyst for the angst.  He was not a very nice man at all.  In fact it could be said that he was very cruel especially to his own family.  My grandmother was not much better so I understand how my father was harsh with my older siblings but he never came close to his father.   By the time of his passing in 1981 just before his 60th. birthday he was more relaxed and his sense of humor was more evident.  I feel fortunate that I was able to see a different side of him, a side that I wish I witnessed long before he died.  But by seeing that it helped me develop my own relationships with my boys.  It is very good with a lot of laughter (sometimes too loud) and a lot of love.  I worry too much about them which amuses them but they are good, honest hardworking young men.  Jeannie and I am very fortunate and I just hope they weather getting older together.  Never mind the storms brought on by Mother Nature; the real damage comes from life’s challenges that separates families.

There is an old saying that you can choose your friends but not your family.  Usually meant in a derogatory manner towards a family member and usually the one considered the black sheep.  Every large family has one.  What to do with these black sheep and what kind of relationship do you have with them is a vexing and tough question.  I guess it all depends on the blackness of the sheep.  Some are just a nuisance that have the ability to drive you nuts while others are downright bad and you get tempted to let the police know of their whereabouts.  Fortunately for my siblings it is more the former than the latter and as I have aged my brother has become less a black sheep and more a person just out of step.  His heart was always in the right place if not his head.  He has this unique ability that my mom described best when she told me that “I love him but I want to wring his damn neck!”.  We don’t talk as often as we should and see each other even less as he lives in Florida but I do think of him as I do my other brothers and sisters and the thoughts are good I am happy to say!  I also wonder if I have shirked my responsibilities as a sibling and those thoughts nag at my conscience.  There were many times when we were children I was not as patient or caring as much as I should have; I remember there was a period when he always followed me and it was quite annoying.  Patience and caring are not even in the vocabulary of a nine year old boy let alone the definitions but I wonder how his life might have changed had those attitudes had been exhibited instead of annoyance?  But I have to tell you – there were times when he was really annoying.

Family life is the foundation of our society.  It is where a person learns about life and how to deal with all that it throws at you.  It is unfortunate that the moral compass in our society has been demagnetized by social engineers and so many do not have a family life to guide them.  And our society now reflects that lack.  When I view our society and consider family life I fear for our country.  I also feel sadness for the growing number of children who do not know family life.  I feel anger when I see what has been done to whole segments of our population through social engineering.  But most of all I feel grateful for the family I was born into and grew up with and the family Jeannie and I have been blessed with – as a good friend always says, “It’s all good.”