On Christmas day, 2013, my son gave me this little booklet “My dad, His stories. His Words.” My son wanted to capture some snap-shots of my life to share with his three boys.This write up is the result on me trying to answer these questions. Please note, I did not mention the sins committed during my life—this will make this document unbearably long! The purpose is to give you a look into who is doing some of the writing on this blog. I hope that you find it interesting and maybe you will be inspired to answer the questions and leave your thoughts for your family.

The Book:

Dad’s full name: Michael Angelo Cesaro
Date of birth: December 31, 1941
Place of birth: Philadelphia, PA

Dad’s mothers full name: Anna Marie Zeola—Cesaro
Date of birth: June 3, 1919
Place of birth: Philadelphia, PA

Dad’s dads full name: Michael Angelo Cesaro
Date of birth: November 18, 1910
Place of birth: Philadelphia, PA

My Dad

Dad, What kind of house did you grow up in, and what was the old neighborhood like? 549 East Rittenhouse Street, Germantown, Philadelphia, PA. Our house was in a small court, shaped like a horse shoe. The dead end street (Rittenhouse Street) was below our house with a railroad across the street and on the opposite hill. A fence by our house and a fence (with some missing boards) to stop people from getting on the tracks. 2 bedrooms upstairs, unheated, except for an air vent from the basement at the top of the stairs. On cold days my sister and I used to get dressed standing on the vent. All of our neighbors were addressed by us as “Aunt’ or “Uncle” and we could use any bathroom in the neighborhood as long as we asked. My mothers mother and father lived 3 doors away. Most of the people spoke Italian. No one owned a car and we had two general stores one in each direction. Both stores gave credit if you needed food. The area was called the Brick Yard. I don’t know why.

Dad, When you were a kid what was your favorite holiday and how did your family celebrate it? My favorite holiday was Christmas. On Christmas Eve my Mom would cook a big plate of various fish and we had Christmas cookies and fruit and nuts. The table was full and Mom put up some candles. Many neighbors came to the house and some of our relatives who lived close by stopped in also. I can still remember our Christmas tree. My Dad would go out on Christmas Eve to get our tree just before the sellers went home. They were cheaper then. I distinctly remember one Christmas that all that was left were two small trees that the guy tied them together and my Dad brought it (them) home. I remember helping him by carrying the back end of the tree. We had a small platform that was in the parlor and my Dad had a Lionel train track in a circle with the tree in the middle. Santa put up the decorations when my sister and I went to sleep. We were awaken in the morning with my Mom shouting up the stairs that Santa was there last night. The train was running on the track when Noreen and I peeked down the steps. Our stockings were filled with fruit and nuts ( no coal!) and I remember my favorite gift was a Duncan Yo Yo. I had to stand on a chair because it was taller than I was. The only negative memory about Christmas I have is that my birthday was 7 days after Christmas and most gifts from my Aunts and Uncles were for Christmas AND my birthday! I usually got clothes for them anyway. My Mom told me once that when I was very young the family and friends were in the kitchen chatting away when they heard a crash and there I was under the Christmas tree, crying.

Dad, Which were your favorite pets and what made them special. Our family lived in the city and my dad thought that every boy should have a dog. So one night he brought home a puppy, a tan little bundle, and set up a place for him in the kitchen. It only took two days for my Mom to lay down the law and the dog had to go. That was my first and last pet.

Dad, what’s your favorite memory of your Dad? Your Mom? I have quite a few great memories of my Dad. He was a hard worker. He was a shop foreman in a company that made punch press parts. The first two fingers on his right hand were the same size due to an accident when he did not pull his hand out fast enough when he was testing the dies for a part they were making. I remember him taking me to Germantown Avenue, a walk of about 1 mile, remember, we did not have a car then, and we watched a Military parade. This was shortly after World war 2 ended. There were people selling Poppies and my Dad bought one and pinned it on me. I felt as good as any 6 year old could feel. Of course, our yearly search for the best and cheapest Christmas tree was a special time for us. After Christmas Eve dinner he would call me to get a coat on because we had to get a tree before they closed for the season. By the way, he always called me “boy” and I sometimes called my own son “boy” remembering my Dad.

My Mom was the chief and only cook in our house. She never worked once she was married and did not work until Noreen and I were married and on our own. My favorite memory of Mom was when she decided to learn to drive. It was a sad and funny moment. Mom asked Dad at dinner one night if he would teach her how to drive. Some background—When we moved from Germantown to West Oak Lane Dad could not walk to work anymore so he was forced to take the H bus and walk from Germantown Avenue. Soon he decided to buy a car, a new 1954 Chevy Bel-Aire. It was green and white with an automatic transmission. Noreen and I stayed at home and Mom and Dad went out for her first lesson. About ½ hour later Mom came running into the house crying and yelling at my Father. Slowly my Dad came in and explained that Mom lost control of the car and accelerated onto a corner-house lawn and luckily my Dad was able to grab the steering wheel and turn the car away from the house and saved the day. Mom did not come out of their bedroom the rest of the night. Next morning breakfast was ready like normal and Mom and Dad seemed to have gotten the car episode behind them. By the way, Noreen and I never heard Mom ask for another driving lesson.

Dad, What’s the best thing your dad and / or mom taught you? My mom taught me good manners and to always be considerate of others. She also taught me how to study and was my helper for all of my homework. My mother was a high school graduate—even though my dad finished his schooling at the 5th grade he had a very good grasp of math most likely learned at his job. Dad, on the other hand taught me many things but the one that comes to mind as the best was the attitude he taught me about work. He seemed to like his work and was a respected foreman at the mill he worked at. I visited his work often and I saw first hand the respect the men and women had for him.

Dad, what rules did your parents have, and which ones drove you crazy? Church every Sunday; be on time for dinner; respect, always, mom (no lip); respect my elders; when I was told to do something, do it right away; do my homework every night; ½ of my pay went to my mom; be home before 10 PM; keep the family car clean; mow the lawns; put the trash out; walk my sister to school (this one drove me crazy).

Dad, what are one or two things you did not tell your parents about? I should stop at one—I was smoking when I was 13 years old. But I will go into the second one. Louise Long and I planned on running away to get married. Different religions, my age,18 years old, Louise was 19. We had some things going for us. We were both employed, we were in love, and we knew that neither set of parents would give us their blessing. We ran away to Maryland and got married. It was probably the wrong thing to do but we saw no way out and in the end it worked out OK. Louise and I reported in to both of our parents after a week in the Poconos and we started mending fences. It only took a little while and we were visiting everyone often. By the way, Christine was born 2 1/2 years after we were married.

Dad, what was your relationship like with your family when you were growing up? Good. We had all of our meals together and did most things together. My dad had a big family, one brother and six sisters, and they all lived within walking distance so dad and I visited Aunts, Uncles and Cousins often. When my sister was old enough she would come with dad and I. Mom usually stayed home after dinner but would come with us on weekends. Dad taught us how to play cards; poker, canasta, pinocle etc. and mom usually joined us. All in all we had a good time with plenty of shared laughs and some sadness, like when my mothers mother passed away unexpectedly.

Dad, what traits do you have that your parents also had? And which side of your family do you most resemble? I have learned to control it a bit but I have my fathers temper and my mothers love for reading. I resemble much more my mothers family. My father had straight black hair and an Italian nose and features. My mother is ½ Irish, her mother was from Ireland and ½ Italian, her father was from Italy. My mothers parents met in New York. It is amazing because her Father did not speak English.

Dad, when you were a child what did you want to be when you grew up? When you were a teenager? When you were a young adult? When I was growing up I always wanted to be a priest! As a teenager I wanted to be an auto mechanic that is why I worked at a gas station when I was 13. As a young adult, married, I really did not have any aspirations but all I wanted to do was what I was good at and I wanted to be good at whatever I was doing. Apparently I was a decent manager in a technical environment and I finally got there at Drexelbrook Engineering.

Dad, who were your best friends from childhood, and what were they like? I had two set of best friends because we moved when I was 12 years old. Albert Cantiello was my one and only friend in Germantown, Philadelphia. We grew up together and were the same age. I remember that his Dad died when we were about 8 years old. The story I remember was that he fell out of a boat when he was fishing and caught cancer and died. In those days cancer was an immediate death sentence. When we moved to West Oak Lane I had many friends because there was 74 houses on our block and it was a new neighborhood. Butch Amet, Joe Surgenor and Alvin Helmus are the three friends that I did most things with. There were others but these three lived a few doors away and it was a natural friendship. Joe is the only one, aside form me, who is still alive. Butch died recently of a heart attack and Alvin was killed by his landlord, over some stupid issue, many years ago. Joe and I trade e mails once in a while. We played ball, bike trips to various parks, but mostly I remember sitting out at night on our front steps talking about things that we all thought about. Wherever we were, in the summer, when the street lights came on, we all came home and met on the steps. Once a meteor went by, looked like a space ship, and we discussed God a lot after that. Sputnik was launched by the Russians and we talked about space travel allot then. We often played games like 20 questions. Good days!

Dad, what music did you grow up listening to? I saw a movie in the early 50’s called “Blackboard Jungle” with Glen Ford. The opening music was by Bill Haley and the Comets called “Rock Around the Clock”. I really think that this was the beginning of the Rock & Roll era in music and I was hooked. Check out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgdufzXvjqw . Then there was Elvis, the Beatles, Janice Joplin, The Doors, etc all what I considered great music. I used to listen to the radio at night and look for the future hits. I was working and I bought a 45 (this was a record that spun at 45 RPM, there is one shown in the above video) just about every week. As I remember the cost of each one was $.99 cents. Later in life I liked Pink Floyd. Now it is the old Christian hymns that I enjoy the most. My favorite is “When Peace like a River”. I even asked Mr. Mansfield to have it sung at my funeral, but he died first.

Dad, What were your favorite subjects in school and why? High school was a long time ago but I always enjoyed Math and Religion. You have to remember that I was born and raised a Catholic and my schooling from 1st to 12th grade was at Catholic schools. I enjoyed the pure order of numbers, the way 2+2 always equaled 4. Religion, because I was always interested in the Spiritual aspects of life. I enjoyed the thoughts of the good going to heaven and the evil people in the world going to hell. This always seemed to give me comfort, a sense of justice that was often lacking in the world. It was not until later that I saw this concept, even though it was comforting to believe, was wrong and God just wants us to have Faith in Him and Jesus, the perfect sacrifice. I now know why the Catholic religion did not allow Bible study when I was growing up.

Dad, who was your favorite teacher and why? I truly cannot think of a single teacher who had an impact on my way of thinking. I was a very introspective person in my early years. I observed and built up opinions and an “I don’t care what you think” kind of attitude. Like Popeye, “I am what I am”, kind of personality. I came out of the shell much later in life and was thought of as a highly opinionated person.

Dad, did you play a sport and what did you like best about it? I was very athletic and played lots of sports and games. Even though I was the lightest kid in our group I liked football the best. I never played organized sports with a coach etc. Every sport I played was with other kids—BTW, I was either a captain or one of the first picked when choosing sides. I played baseball and basketball when we were not playing football. If you remember, I encouraged all of our children to be active in sports.

Dad, who taught you to drive and what was your first car? My Dad “taught” me to drive but I actually drove my first time when I was 14 years old. I was just hired at an Esso gas station pumping gas when the owner tossed me the keys to the company pick-up truck and told me to get sandwiches and soda for the workers. I hopped & jerked the truck to the Deli and came back, then I told the boss that this was the first time I drove! My Uncle Bill (Cousin Rich & Bill’s Dad) took me to get my drivers license and I passed on the first try driving his Ford Station Wagon. My first car was a 1953 blue Ford, 2 door sedan. I was 16 and saved $150.00 for three years to purchase it. When I first saw it it was being repaired because it was in an accident and I bought it after it was fixed up. A good car that I kept for 3 years. My first new car was a “stripped down” 1960 Ford after your Mom and I were married.

Dad, What was the worst trouble you got into when you were younger? I guess when I was about 14 years old during the Christmas season a group of us were walking at night when one of our buddies was spotted in his bedroom doing homework. One of us, not me, had the idea to shake him up by taking Christmas lights from neighbors houses and throwing them at this bedroom window. We took the light bulbs and tossed them at his house and ran away laughing when the Police car pulled up to us and asked why we were running. He took down our names and apparently Jim Gregor’s Mom called the police and told them what happened and the Police put it all together and called all of our parents the next morning. I woke up to my Mother screaming at the top of her lungs—”My son is a criminal!” It took my Dad a long time to settle her down and I took a silent oath to never do that again.

Dad, What were your first few jobs? What did you do and do you remember how much you earned? My first real job with a boss ( I am not counting mowing lawns or shoveling snow in our neighborhood) was at the mentioned Esso gas station. I made $0.75 an hour and by the time I was a Senior in high school I was up to $0.90 an hour and was working 40 hours most weeks. My Uncle Sam got me a job at Florig Equipment Co. in 1959 right after I graduated from High School. I started out sweeping the floors and doing odd jobs in their shop. I was hired at $0.95 a hour and was working at least 40 hours a week. I worked at Florig 5 years and in 1964 I was a foreman and I fixed a spring on a car for a guy who could only come in on his lunch hour. He liked what I did for him and when he found out that I was going to night school at Temple University for Electrical Engineering he asked me to call him. He was a Supervisor at General Electric Aerospace Division in King of Prussia. Long story short, I was hired as a lab technician for the sum of $9,000.00 a year or $4.60 and hour.

Dad, What was your toughest lesson in life? You don’t live 73 years without some tough lessons. The toughest lesson I guess would be the one that took the longest to learn. There are two areas that come to mind. The first lesson is to listen more and speak less. It wasn’t until recently that I feel that I have been able to hold my tongue and listen and understand before commenting. The second lesson is the realization that God is in control and what is going on in our Country and the world is a matter of concern but a concern that is out of my control and therefore not to worry but prepare. Attitude is everything and we should let God and His word control our attitude toward evil.

Dad, What is the best advice you received, and from whom? Along the way there were a few people who gave the right advice at the right time. Here are some:
My dad, through example, work hard and be predictable.
Louise, your Mom, by example, “a happy wife is a happy life”.
Fred Maltby, in business, every department is important and each has an oar that moves the company ship in a given direction. Do not make fun of another operation who can not keep up the rhythm of rowing but help them with their rowing.
Bill Coleman, read the gospel of John first.
Rob Mansfield, God does not care about your ability but in your availability. Moses is the example of this attitude.
Pat Ryan, Look at things the way they are; not the way you wish them to be.
Joe Miller, it is what it is.

Dad, How did you meet Mom? In the 50’s teens met at church dances which were held on Friday and/or Saturday nights at various locations in and around Philadelphia. I went, with my friends, on a Friday night to the Saint Joseph’s Orphanage dance that was located at 15th and Leigh in Philadelphia. When I was not dancing I walked around to see if I knew anyone from school when a record came on that I liked and the first girl I saw I asked to dance. This is verified—when I went up to this girl I said, “do you want to dance, if you know how?” She danced with me anyway. I do not remember the rest of the night but a few days later my cousin Rich called me and asked if he could give my phone number to a mutual friend, Eileen Krupa, to give to some other girl. I said yes and shortly after Louise called me and we talked for a while and she invited me to go on a hay ride being sponsored by her Sorority. I went and the rest is history—BTW, I was 15 years old at the time.

Dad, How did you spend your free time before you had kids? (I assume that this means after marriage and before kids). I did not have much free time. Two jobs, Florig Equipment and the Philadelphia Inquirer and three nights a week at Temple University going for an engineering degree. But with that said, your Mom and I lived in an apartment in the Northeast and we have some great memories of walking along Rising Sun Ave and window shopping and have ice cream along the way. We truly enjoyed each others company.

Dad, What do you remember about the birth of your children? Christine was born in December of 1962. It was about three weeks before my 21st birthday. At that time the father was not allowed to witness the birth and when she was born I visited and was truly amazed at the miracle of birth. After I visited Mom and Christine I was ushered out and told to come back tomorrow. I went to my Mom & Dad’s home to sleep and when I went back to the small, one doctor hospital, I found out that Mom had a lot of problems after the birth, Uremic Poisoning, she almost died. The doctor stayed with her all night and he did not know where I was and they could not get in touch with me. By the morning the worst was over and Mom wound up with stretched tendons in her shoulder which showed up later as a chronic dislocation of her shoulder. The next four births were without any big problems, however, Lee Anne was born with major heart issues and died when she was about 5 months old in Children Hospital in Philadelphia. All of the births were amazing miracles. BTW, after four girls, I needed a few minutes to accept the idea that we finally had a boy!

Dad, What was it like to become a father? I am not sure that I can answer this one because I had no specific feelings other that I had to learn to do this job as good as I could. I loved each of our children and tried to not make the mistakes I felt my Dad made while I was growing up. However, I made some new mistakes and hopefully our children learned what not to do from my mistakes.

Dad, What is one of your favorite memories of being a Dad? After dinner I would get a Dr. Seuss book and read to each of the children as they completed their chores or homework. I also liked to listen to classical music and rest the baby in the fold of my leg and move their hands as they griped my fingers to the rhythm of the music. Weekend drives through the countryside when Mom was at work at the Hospital were also a lot of fun—especially the ice cream cone we always managed to find. While thinking about this question it comes to mind that one memory that I enjoyed was letting you all go and starting a life of your own. A real sense of satisfaction, our job was essentially done, or so I thought.

Dad, What are some of your favorite things you’ve done with your children? Aside from the things mentioned above I enjoyed spending time in coaching all of our children in various sports, helping with homework when I could and making breakfast on weekends.

Dad, What was the best thing about being a father? What’s the hardest thing? The best thing was watching our children growing up to be kind and considerate adults and watching their children having the same traits. The hardest thing was letting them fail when I could see that they would fail. My first reaction was to help them avoid failure. I learned that failure eventually builds success because it is important to learn what will not work, all by yourself. Another hard thing for me was to not lose my temper when I was upset at their actions or attitude. I don’t think I ever conquered my quick temper.

Dad, What advice would you pass along about being a dad? Do the best you can and have no lasting regrets about what you could have done differently. Spend as much time as you can with each child even if it means you sacrifice some of the things you like to do.

Dad, Looking back what are some of your proudest moments in life? I have seen it too many times growing up that pride is a strange element. I tried never to bask too much in my own achievements but show pride in the efforts of others, especially our children. The strike-out when needed the most, the pin to help the team win a match, the academic achievements and the home run to win the game. These are my proudest moments. Of course, another proud moment was when I was walking down the aisle and handing off our children to be in the care of someone else.

Dad, Who are the people that you most admire and why?
Your Mother for putting up with me all of these years. Through the good and bad times.
My dad, I really did not know how much he taught me until I looked back.
My mother for teaching me how to treat others.
My mother-in -law for teaching me real courage.

Dad, What is your favorite motto, quotation or saying? Where did you hear it? John 14:1, let not your heart be troubled, you believe in God believe also in me. Through this verse I learned that God makes me responsible for how I react to joy and tribulation—he teaches me to accept whatever is tossed at me. I also like this saying, if it does not kill you then it makes you stronger, I do not remember who said this but it sometimes give me a reason for problems and tribulation.

Dad, What is the most interesting place you ever visited and why? I have been to a lot of places but by far the most interesting has to be Israel. Mom & I along with Cousin George and his wife at the time Pat and Cousin Rich and Mary went there for two weeks. When we went, there was an up-tick of fighting with the Palestinians. We went anyway. I found the people & the places we visited literally steeped in history. I was impressed when we were in England to see tombs dated in the 1400’s but in Israel we saw tombs and structures dated from 90 BC (Masada) and sooner. The wailing wall, Bethlehem, the walk of Jesus to Calvary, the dead sea, the Gaza Strip, etc. I remember looking at the Wailing Wall from a distance and stopped to “talk” to an old man who was begging with his hat on the ground next to were he was sitting in the shade. I gave him a dollar and he put his hand out to stop me from moving on and he gave me a red piece of thread which I accepted with a smile and kept in my wallet. A gift of great value. It made me think of the red string that travels throughout the old testament that is a picture of Christ.

Dad, What are some ways, good and bad, the world has changed since you were a kid?
Good:
Auto tires last longer, and so do autos
Television reception is much better
Telephone service is better—no party lines
Technology in the medical field is much better
Travel is much easier

Bad:
Drug use seems to be more prevalent
Kids have too many electronic devices which isolate them from society
Seems like there is less respect for other people in general
Government seems to be in every aspect of life
Way too many lawyers
Not as many people go to church on Sundays
The bad guys seem to win more than the good guys
Politicians

Dad, What’s the craziest or most impulsive thing you have ever done? The time Charlie G., Tom K. and I set the caddy shack on fire at the (Name withheld) Country Club. To this day I still am not sure why we did it. We all caddied there on weekends. No, we were not caught.

Dad, What is your perfect day? Being with Mom and having nothing that needed to be urgently done—sort of like today.

Dad, What are some things that you still want to do in your lifetime? I have always wanted to write a book. I tried once and it was a disaster, I tossed the effort, but the thought continues to come back to me. The book I envision is not a fiction (but it could be) a book that can possibly show how to live a Godly life in our society. I have some thoughts, so who knows?

Dad, How do you want future generations of your family to remember you? Think about this—My sister Noreen and I are possibly the only ones who remember my Dad with any level of detail. I would not be afraid to say that my dad’s dad is not remembered by anyone. So first I would like to simply be remembered. I am very far from perfect so I would ask that only the good things I have done to and for people and the Lord are the things remembered. I figured out a long time ago that there would never be a statue of me in any park and my only “monument” would be our children and the people who’s lives I have impacted.

If I am remembered, I would like to be remembered as a person who could be asked for a favor or help and I was available and able to help. A person who respected everyone I met.